When I receive a holiday letter, I sometimes don’t know whether to laugh or cry. It seems few people have mastered the art of a lively overview of interesting and relevant information and instead get bogged down in trivial or obtuse details. I decided to start my own holiday letter tradition. The following missive uses unaltered excerpts from letters that we received this year; only the names have been changed.
It’s that time of year again, and when we look back on this year, we have many fond memories.
Mikey celebrated his second birthday on March 26. He has really grown a lot this year — he now has hair (actually a very long mullet). His appetite is amazing. What a poochy tummy he gets! We were recently surprised by how solid he is compared to other kids his age. Just as the cake was put on the table, he put his foot in the frosting. Mom had fun licking the frosting off his foot, though!
In April, we moved into our new house. Jane Killian was our realtor. We finally found a spec house built by Joe Fox. Olivia Gregory did a great job with the interior design. Jack put up a wonderful set of cabinets/shelves in our garage (since our basement is finished) so we could use this to put up items we don’t use on a regular basis. Frank has successfully avoided cleaning the basement for 5 years, and we have yet to hang a single picture on the wall. Mom and Dad’s urns still sit on our mantle.
Our health has remained relatively good. Dan passed his driver’s license without glasses, but will soon be a candidate for hearing aids. Linda fell down the stairs. We are fortunate so many people helped out. A special thank-you to Linda’s mom, Fred’s mom, Jill, Britney, Clark, Jack, Gale, Jeff, Steve, Jerry’s teachers (Wanda, Pete, Cathy, Kate), Robert’s classmate’s families, Rick and Jan, Francine, Don and Jackie, Patsy, Dan, and many others!
Allen is still working for Big Bank and is seeing a lovely young lady named Carolyn (who is studying Mortuary Cosmetology). My job was everywhere this year. Ever tried to neuter a sugar glider that is the size of a small squirrel? Our department is now called “Global Administration” and everyone is called assistants (no more Executive Assistant, Senior Administrative Assistant, just Assistant). We moved from the third floor to the fifth floor then I went to the sixth floor to sit near my new VP. I was told my old manager was also moving to the sixth floor, so I got to pack him up and move him while he was on vacation.
We are so richly blessed. We hope you are, too.
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Licking frosting off the foot of the two year old is just……disturbing…
When you actually do get a Christmas letter that hits the right spots, it really stands out. We received one – out of the many – this year so far that did just that, and it's a treasure.
Priceless! Last Christmas Simon Hoggart published a whole book of these letters, called The Hamster That Loved Puccini.
This is awesome!
You get way better letters than me. Mine are all about changes to my bank account and people who have $10 million dollars trapped in banks.
Well, Andy, that gives me an idea…
This is just too funny. Can I hire you to write a Christmas letter for me next year? I have some relatives I'm trying to scare away…